A Sacramento 10 but a San Diego 5

Sometimes, I am the problem.  Sometimes, I am the toxic one.  I haven't ended up single all this time for that to not be a fact.  Self-reflection is key, unfortunately this key hasn't unlocked any doors for me yet.

On a summer night, I'm out with one of my girlfriends enjoying dinner and drinks.  A guy sits next to us serving Charlie Harper wears Versace vibes.  Basically Charlie Harper shirt with flashy Versace sunglasses.  First pass, he was attractive.  Not-so-tall but dark, handsome-ish, and fit.  Honestly, the muscles are what usually can mask other cons for me, it's the idea of feeling small, protection...I'm a cavewoman.  My friend and I start talking to this guy and he goes with us to another bar and we end up parting ways with an exchange of social media and phone numbers.

Fast forward about one month, he reaches out to me saying he has friends in town and is wondering what we're up to.  I invite him to our potluck, bless this man with my presence, the gnocchi I made that is absolute fire 🔥, and he treats me as follows...

This debacle starts 4th of July weekend.  He invites me to a boat party so my friend and I buy tickets last minute and I text him that we're going...NO RESPONSE.  Now we're invested financially.  We show up and I decide I'm going to do my own thing but he doesn't allow that.  He insists on flirting the entire time until he doesn't and leaves to go dance all over other women in front of me.  That in itself is totally fine, but the fact that he continuously returned to me as if it was only his decision not mine was what irked me.  Boat party outfit up for grabs: White Mini Dress on Poshmark

It should never have gone past this weekend, ugh I know 🤡, but he apologized and I forgave him.  It's tough when you want a connection and companionship.  My self respect and confidence are high and still I make mistakes.  We end up having a fun night out, dancing, drinks, friends, laughter.  And then he says some words that are now branded into my brain, "you'd be perfect if you just lost the fat on your stomach".  Further discussion with him about how he treated me on the boat lead to "I thought you were just for fun".  My head just about did a 360 à la exorcist.

The disrespect was off the charts.  But what gets me the most is the AUDACITY!  Does this man think he has something special?  In San Diego, it is the land of the fit and healthy (not everyone of course but it is very common).  You can go in any direction from my place downtown and see people working out at all hours of the day.  This Sacramento 10 might be fit and attractive up north but here, in San Diego, he is average.  His other attributes include a mediocre real estate career, an ability to snore like he's a motorcycle, wordsmith with women, and a story teller because he will definitely advertise his life as being much more grand than what it is.

Have you had any experiences where someone has said something to you so rude that you question whether or not you heard it correctly?  Are there other Sacramento 10s out there?  Maybe an Ohio 12?  An Arkansas 15?  Let me know.

@mytraumawearsprada New post is up! https://mytraumawearsprada.blogspot.com/2022/11/a-sacramento-10-but-san-diego-5.html #datingstorytime #datinginyour30s #ihateithere #CapCut ♬ You Don't Own Me - Grace ft. G-Eazy